Ok, I need to get on here and rant about one of the single most ANNOYING pet peeves of mine, and that is when people say, "Well, thing could be worse..."
As in,
"Things could be worse, you could be a starving Ethiopian child."
"Things could be worse, you could have no arms and legs."
"Things could be worse, you could be killed."
THE FUCK?
First of all, the term "worse" is relative.
For example, I personally, would rather be dead than have to deal with my mom being dead. Some people wouldn't. That is relative.
I would rather be a starving person in Africa than have to see my mom suffer. Some people wouldn't. Relative.
Furthermore, that is possibly the WORST way to try to "comfort" someone. Ever.
I don't know what happened to empathy in our country, but it definitely flew out the window if people think that "Things could be worse" is a good comfort food.
So please, just keep that in mind. It's not helpful. In fact, it's very counter-productive.
Kthanks,
-Webpups
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Devil Woman
Here's another rant, I guess. I've been wanting to post this for a while, but sometimes things get so hard that I can't even come up with a coherent sentence I want to say. Anyway, let's cut into the milk and cheese of this particular post. -Nonsensical analogy-
Of course, as I trek through my endless cycle of emotions and stages of grief, I seem to be particularly focused on anger. Anger at a number of people and things, but I'm going to focus on one particular, BIG problem that's been royally pissing me off.
There exists a stupid bitch on this planet by the name of Cynthia Banks. Why she exists is anyone's guess. She is the most horrid, vile excuse for a "human being" I have ever encountered. I am 100% sure that she is at least one of the many personified forms of Satan himself. This particular stupid bitch is also the reason for most, if not all, of my psychological problems and overall mental instability. I am writing this blog to point out how utterly unfair life is. The fact that this woman is still alive, and not 6 feet under, while my mom, one of the many people tormented by this she-devil, died a stupid, painful death.
I am not the type of person to wish death on anyone, even my worst enemy, but the fact that "karma" has not caught up with this ciniving whore is beyond me, and really makes me wish that she would get her come-uppance. Allow me to elaborate:
This is the home-wrecking bitch that thought it was okay to infiltrate my parent's marriage when I was 11, and ultimately cause the end of it.
The bitch that made my dad leave and move with her to Texas.
The bitch that came to my 8th grade graduation like she belonged, and told me I couldn't wear the dress that I wanted because it was "too revealing" (OMG, my shoulders were showing, alert the fucking press!)
The bitch who lied to my dad saying that her daughter was his, just so that he would move to Texas and away from us. (Note: the girl looks NOTHING like him, or anyone in our family).
The bitch who eventually became my (I use this word VERY loosely) "step-mother" whom I ended up having to coexist with in Texas for almost a year.
The bitch who pushed her pseuo-Christianity onto EVERYONE around her, while not looking in the mirror to see what a sad excuse for a Sinner she really was.
The bitch who endlessly tormented me, just because she was jealous of me and my dad's relationship.
The bitch who called me a slut and a dyke when I was only 13 and had only kissed one boy in my whole life.
The bitch who THREW AWAY my clothes and music from my 'pop punk' days because she said they were "of the Devil" (at least give the clothes away to charity you dumb bitch).
The bitch who choked me in a CD store because I wanted to get a Blink-182 and Sum 41 CD, but she said I couldn't because they "look weird".
The bitch who literally called my high school (in Texas) to get certain books and jewelry banned because they were again, "of the Devil".
The bitch who told my coach to take me off the volleyball team (one of the few things that brought my life joy there) because she thought I was skipping practice, when I explained to her that I had cramps and missed maybe 2 practices that whole year.
The jealous and vindictive bitch that did a slew of many other things, that even I feel like I can't post here...
There are so many situations in my life that I feel like I have not gotten the proper closure, and this is one of them. She never apologized for her evil ways, she never felt remorse for being a home wrecker. She ruined the relationship with me and my dad, which to this day is not rekindled and I don't know if it ever will be. I just don't understand how people can be so cold and heartless and just oblivious to the suffering of others...
Anyway, it feels good to finally get this off my chest and put it out there. I've been holding back for over 8 years and now that I don't give a fuck, it's time to start exposing the world for what it is. Sick.
-Webpups
Of course, as I trek through my endless cycle of emotions and stages of grief, I seem to be particularly focused on anger. Anger at a number of people and things, but I'm going to focus on one particular, BIG problem that's been royally pissing me off.
There exists a stupid bitch on this planet by the name of Cynthia Banks. Why she exists is anyone's guess. She is the most horrid, vile excuse for a "human being" I have ever encountered. I am 100% sure that she is at least one of the many personified forms of Satan himself. This particular stupid bitch is also the reason for most, if not all, of my psychological problems and overall mental instability. I am writing this blog to point out how utterly unfair life is. The fact that this woman is still alive, and not 6 feet under, while my mom, one of the many people tormented by this she-devil, died a stupid, painful death.
I am not the type of person to wish death on anyone, even my worst enemy, but the fact that "karma" has not caught up with this ciniving whore is beyond me, and really makes me wish that she would get her come-uppance. Allow me to elaborate:
This is the home-wrecking bitch that thought it was okay to infiltrate my parent's marriage when I was 11, and ultimately cause the end of it.
The bitch that made my dad leave and move with her to Texas.
The bitch that came to my 8th grade graduation like she belonged, and told me I couldn't wear the dress that I wanted because it was "too revealing" (OMG, my shoulders were showing, alert the fucking press!)
The bitch who lied to my dad saying that her daughter was his, just so that he would move to Texas and away from us. (Note: the girl looks NOTHING like him, or anyone in our family).
The bitch who eventually became my (I use this word VERY loosely) "step-mother" whom I ended up having to coexist with in Texas for almost a year.
The bitch who pushed her pseuo-Christianity onto EVERYONE around her, while not looking in the mirror to see what a sad excuse for a Sinner she really was.
The bitch who endlessly tormented me, just because she was jealous of me and my dad's relationship.
The bitch who called me a slut and a dyke when I was only 13 and had only kissed one boy in my whole life.
The bitch who THREW AWAY my clothes and music from my 'pop punk' days because she said they were "of the Devil" (at least give the clothes away to charity you dumb bitch).
The bitch who choked me in a CD store because I wanted to get a Blink-182 and Sum 41 CD, but she said I couldn't because they "look weird".
The bitch who literally called my high school (in Texas) to get certain books and jewelry banned because they were again, "of the Devil".
The bitch who told my coach to take me off the volleyball team (one of the few things that brought my life joy there) because she thought I was skipping practice, when I explained to her that I had cramps and missed maybe 2 practices that whole year.
The jealous and vindictive bitch that did a slew of many other things, that even I feel like I can't post here...
There are so many situations in my life that I feel like I have not gotten the proper closure, and this is one of them. She never apologized for her evil ways, she never felt remorse for being a home wrecker. She ruined the relationship with me and my dad, which to this day is not rekindled and I don't know if it ever will be. I just don't understand how people can be so cold and heartless and just oblivious to the suffering of others...
Anyway, it feels good to finally get this off my chest and put it out there. I've been holding back for over 8 years and now that I don't give a fuck, it's time to start exposing the world for what it is. Sick.
-Webpups
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Rant
The Saddest Part Is That No One Knows How Unhappy I Really Am...
I hate feeling so ungrateful and so negative all of the time. I hate that I'm even writing in here right now because I usually like to have a clear and precise concept to talk about, but I really feel the need to vent. WHY was this week so hard for me? I had so many exciting opportunities come up, but I can't be happy about any of them. I know I should give myself a break; I have a pretty damn good reason to be upset, but to have such a low feeling inside of me all the time is not only irritating, but downright debilitating. I spent the greater part of today crying in the bathroom of my college. The second I'm alone, all the emotions and feelings start flooding back to me and I just get overwhelmed. Which is really unfortunate because I can't be around people ALL the time, nor would I want to, but that's just my reality. My dreams are still vivid, intense and creepy. I wish they were more like how they were earlier in January. At least in those dreams, my mom was more of an ethereal, yet realistic person and it was actually like I was with her in real time. Now, in my dreams I am confused when I see my mom, because I can't decide if she's really alive or not, then I wake up and of course, realize she's still dead... No one should have to go through something like that; I'm already suffering enough, then I have a whole neurological experience to deal with, which is really too complex to even put into words or writing (no one would understand anyway, except maybe crazy people). I would like to think that most of the random intense emotions were just due to the fact that I was on the rag this week, but I don't know. I try to be one of those people who makes the most of a situation and is able to laugh and joke about life's unfairness, but again, this feels to me like such an unrecoverable thing. And I hate the fact that everyone seems to think that I will get over it, because I won't. Ever. I just wish there was a way to let people know how I feel without sounding needy...it's just hard to put into words how I'm feeling at any given time so I just stutter and stammer and eventually the subject gets changed. I wish the person that I trusted to be there for me would actually be there for me and stop being so distant. I wish a lot of things, but I've learned recently that wishing, hoping, praying and all that jazz is worth SQUAT. If something is going to happen, it's just going to happen and that's the end of it. It would just be nice if my happiness didn't have to be constantly on the line....
Fuck. Shit. Piss.
-Webpups
I hate feeling so ungrateful and so negative all of the time. I hate that I'm even writing in here right now because I usually like to have a clear and precise concept to talk about, but I really feel the need to vent. WHY was this week so hard for me? I had so many exciting opportunities come up, but I can't be happy about any of them. I know I should give myself a break; I have a pretty damn good reason to be upset, but to have such a low feeling inside of me all the time is not only irritating, but downright debilitating. I spent the greater part of today crying in the bathroom of my college. The second I'm alone, all the emotions and feelings start flooding back to me and I just get overwhelmed. Which is really unfortunate because I can't be around people ALL the time, nor would I want to, but that's just my reality. My dreams are still vivid, intense and creepy. I wish they were more like how they were earlier in January. At least in those dreams, my mom was more of an ethereal, yet realistic person and it was actually like I was with her in real time. Now, in my dreams I am confused when I see my mom, because I can't decide if she's really alive or not, then I wake up and of course, realize she's still dead... No one should have to go through something like that; I'm already suffering enough, then I have a whole neurological experience to deal with, which is really too complex to even put into words or writing (no one would understand anyway, except maybe crazy people). I would like to think that most of the random intense emotions were just due to the fact that I was on the rag this week, but I don't know. I try to be one of those people who makes the most of a situation and is able to laugh and joke about life's unfairness, but again, this feels to me like such an unrecoverable thing. And I hate the fact that everyone seems to think that I will get over it, because I won't. Ever. I just wish there was a way to let people know how I feel without sounding needy...it's just hard to put into words how I'm feeling at any given time so I just stutter and stammer and eventually the subject gets changed. I wish the person that I trusted to be there for me would actually be there for me and stop being so distant. I wish a lot of things, but I've learned recently that wishing, hoping, praying and all that jazz is worth SQUAT. If something is going to happen, it's just going to happen and that's the end of it. It would just be nice if my happiness didn't have to be constantly on the line....
Fuck. Shit. Piss.
-Webpups
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